Sunday, November 28, 2010

What the fuck happened last night.

CW: 164

Oh my god...So last night I drank with my boyfriend, his brother, and our friends. I woke up in my bed didn't remember anything...hahaha. Look down, I'm wearing my boyfriend's clothes. My hands smell like vomit. What the fuck where are my clothes?? What the fuck happened last night?? Did I throw up?? I don't remember anything. Call my boyfriend, he's like you puked in my room in front of my brother. I changed your clothes in front of my brother. You got us kicked out of the hockey game. You puked on yourself and then got soaking wet trying to clean it. OMG. One good thing came out of this, I'm past my first goal weight!! Isn't that so fucked up that the first thing I did after I found out that I puked was weigh myself..I should probably shower. And wash my clothes. I'm sooo embarrassed to face his brother oh wow. I'm such a mess. That's the only time I've gotten that wasted at uni and of course it has to be when he's here! I have to drive him later today so that's great. SUCH A MESS. It's slightly funny but super humiliating at the same time. My leg hurts. I think I'm still a tad drunk. AHHHHH. At least I was 9 pounds lighter when his brother saw me almost naked I guess. Fuck. 

My inspiring pics of the day go to the amazing Audrey Hepburn. So gorgeous and tiny and elegant :) I'm gonna go shower and eat some toast.

Friday, November 26, 2010

It feels like Christmas!

CW: 167

It's been snowing here and I'm totally starting to get excited for Christmas :) I woke up one morning and everything was covered in white, it was so pretty! I immediately started downloading Christmas music lol. But then you have to go outside in it and you almost freeze your ass off. I still love it though. I love being in my cozy little room and looking out at the snow falling.

So my scale is kind of unreliable. But I've been weighing myself in my dorm room, which is carpeted, and I know that doesn't work very well. I'm always nervous that I'm going to see someone if I carry it across the hall to the bathroom though lol. It would be kind of awkward to run into someone as I'm carrying my scale.. If I weight myself in one spot in my room it will say one thing, then if I move it I'll get a different number :/ It's really annoying but I know I'm losing, so that's good. Today I weigh either 167 or 166, but I went with 167 just to be safe. 

I'm going home in 14 days and I really want to be 163 or less by then (that will be a 10 lb loss!). That way hopefully people (my mom) will notice that I've lost weight and not force me to eat crap food. Usually she's pretty supportive of me losing weight but when I got down to my lowest, 101, she asked me if I was throwing up...But I think that she'll make relatively healthy stuff if she sees that I'm trying to lose. I've been good with food lately, my only junk food has been a cup of chocolate milk (170 cal) after dinner last night. It totally gets rid of my sweets cravings though, and it's relatively low cal compared to the cookie or chocolate bar I wanted to eat. I've also been doing some exercises in my room, my abs are super sore today. My boyfriend said once the weather gets better he's going to start going for runs. I'm going to try to go with him even though I'll be slow and I hate running. He's gained 10-20 lbs since we've been here but it barely shows because he's 6'1. And we usually play tennis when the weather is nice too, so that should burn some major calories. Hopefully my weight doesn't plateau before it gets warm enough to exercise.

Only a week left of classes!! I can't wait for it to be over. I hate like half of the classes I'm taking this semester and I really want to be done with them. I still have finals after that but I have quite a bit of time to study so I should be fine. I have to get ready for class but I'll try to post tomorrow if I have time. Oh and I decided I'm going to drink on Saturday night so wish me luck with trying not to pig out while I'm drunk!

Today's pics are of Victoria's Secret Model Adriana Lima. Hope you like them :)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Almost there...

Yay new followers! Hey guys :) Thanks everyone for the comments and support, it means so much to me!

Only a week and a half left of classes in this semester! I can't wait for it to be over, these last couple weeks are slowly killing me. It's crazy how much work they expect you to do in university. Tonight I have to narrow 9 sources down to 4 and complete an outline for my research essay :/ Not fun.

Nothing exciting is going on in my life right now. I didn't weight myself this morning, so I'll post tomorrow and let you know where I'm at. I've been doing well as far as intake, no junk food and usually around 800 or 900 calories per day. I've also been trying to take better care of myself in general. I've been taking better care of my skin, wearing cute outfits (despite the snow!) and I feel so much better about myself already. The fact that I know I'm making progress everyday makes me feel so good. Even when school is crazy and my life seems like a mess, I know I'm on the right track to getting thinner. It's such a comforting thought. And it helps so much to have a reason to lose weight. If I'm not in the 130's by May I will not want to go to Hawaii. And if I go I won't even enjoy myself because I'll be too worried about having to wear a bathing suit. I need to do this. 

I'm debating if I'm going to drink this weekend or not. If I can drink something relatively low cal and resist stuffing my face while I'm drunk I'll be good to go. My friend from home is coming to campus this weekend and he'll expect me to party with him. But alcohol makes me soo hungry I usually end up eating something disgusting. And I don't want to erase any of the progress I've made so far. I don't know what to do :(

Continuing with the Gossip Girl theme, today's pics are of Taylor Momsen. Hope you like them :)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Hello 160s!

CW: 168 lbs

Yay!! I'm so excited to see the 160s again :) I'm getting close to my first goal already which is super encouraging. Thank you all for the comments on my last post, I'm glad a lot of you are enjoying the pictures I put up. If you have any requests for my daily pics, just let me know and I'll try my best to do them all. And welcome new followers! 

I think I'm going to take more pictures of myself once I reach my second goal of 155. I'm hoping there will be a noticeable difference by then and maybe I'll even be brave enough to post them lol. Last night I was literally going to go eat pizza but somehow I resisted until the cafeteria closed and I'm happy I did. I'm spending the day doing homework and I've already done about 3 hours :( I'm proud of myself usually I would have procrastinated until the end of the day lol.

I had a big fight with my boyfriend last night, and posted when I was super upset. I don't know how many of you read it but I deleted it this morning. I didn't want to be judged on how screwed up I am. Maybe one day I'll be able to really open up to you guys and tell you my deepest darkest secrets. Maybe.

B: Slept through it :)
L: 2 slices of watermelon (45)
1 slice of pineapple (30)
D: Grilled cheese sandwich (450)
Ginger cookie (350)
T: 875

Anyways I should get back to work :( I have so much to get done today it's insane. I'm running with the whole gossip girl theme and today's pics go to Leighton Meester. Enjoy :)

Friday, November 19, 2010

Finally it's Friday

CW: 170.5

I'm absolutely exhausted. School is really taking it out of me, I just want to sleep for days. But unfortunately that is not an option because there's still tons of work to be done. I cannot wait until Christmas break (3 weeks off!) but on the other hand, Christmas=lots of food. I still need to keep losing over the break if I'm going to be ready for a bikini in time so I'm going to have to resist. It sucks because I make the most amazing gingerbread cookies :( Oh well, it's not worth having to walk around in a bathing suit with all my fat hanging out. 

I think me and the boyfriend are gonna go see a movie tonight. No delicious, buttery popcorn for me. I'll settle for a lower number on the scale tomorrow, that will be much more satisfying. I wish I had someone to do this with me, a friend to lose weight with. It would make it so much easier to have someone there to talk me down when I just want to stuff my face with any food I can grab.

B: Nothing (I know I'm bad, I just didn't have time!)
L: 1 cup butternut squash soup (100)
4 crackers (48)
Small banana (95)
D: Veggie Burger (500)
Orange (62)
Non-fat caramel machiato (140)

T: 945 cal

I chose Blake Lively for today's pics because she is absolutely gorgeous and she just got named Vogue's best dressed woman of 2010!