Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I'm back :)

Hey girls sorry I've been gone for a while. It was just a super hectic time with finals, then home for Christmas, I haven't really had a moment to relax. My grades are in and I did well :) Let's just say I got higher than an A average. I'm really happy and hoping that they'll keep giving me scholarships so I can leave school with the same amount of money I went in with. I've kind of lost my way with the weight loss but I'm ready to get back on track. My guy friend is coming in like 18 days and I want to lose a bit of weight by then and at least feel better about myself. And Hawaii!! I need to look decent because right now I'd rather kill myself then be seen in a bathing suit. So I'm just gonna do my best to transition into weight loss mode again. I feel like such shit when I eat crap food. I'm tired and moody and I just feel bad about myself in general. I'm ready to feel good again and get back to where I was before finals :) 

I hope you all had an awesome Christmas! I got a beautiful watch from my mom, a bracelet from my boyfriend and some cash/giftcards which are always good. Oh and the trip to Hawaii from my boyfriend's parents of course. Anyone get anything amazing? 

That's the watch my mom got me, in case you were curious. I love it, best gift I got (even though I picked it out) lol.

Christmas break is going so fast, I don't want to go back to school :( but the good thing about being at school is no one watches what I eat, and its way easier to avoid eating junk. I'm excited to be back! I'll post picutres tomorrow, right now I have to go get ready for a night with my boyfriend. His parents are out of town for the night and its been a while if you know what i mean..;) Anyways, I'll talk to you girls tomorrow. Missed you!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


Sorry guys! Been studying for finals like crazy (and eating crap) :( I'll post when I can. I'm feeling so unmotivated, I just need to get these done and then I can get back on track. I hate disappointing you guys, and myself. I need to get back on track asap. Sorry for the short post, I'll be back as soon as my exams are over!

Thursday, December 2, 2010


So I've been kind of a failure lately..I've been so stressed during this final week of school that I've just been eating normally. Not like pigging out or anything, but I'm sure I've gained. But I got another source of major motivation today. My friend is coming to visit and he hasn't seen me in a long time. I need to look good. The last time he saw me I weighed around 135! He's coming on January 16th and I have to lose as much weight as possible by then. We've kind of always had feelings for each other, but we've always been far apart and/or dating other people. I just want him to be jealous of my bf and wish that he could be with me. I need to look as HOT as possible. I haven't weighed myself and I'm kind of scared to, so I think I'm going to wait a couple of days. I just need to keep reminding myself that he's coming and that Hawaii will be here before I know it. MUST LOSE WEIGHT!

The Victoria's Secret fashion show was amazing as always. I love watching it and it totally got me back on track. Thought I'd give you guys a taste of the angels. So. Hot. 

Sunday, November 28, 2010

What the fuck happened last night.

CW: 164

Oh my god...So last night I drank with my boyfriend, his brother, and our friends. I woke up in my bed didn't remember anything...hahaha. Look down, I'm wearing my boyfriend's clothes. My hands smell like vomit. What the fuck where are my clothes?? What the fuck happened last night?? Did I throw up?? I don't remember anything. Call my boyfriend, he's like you puked in my room in front of my brother. I changed your clothes in front of my brother. You got us kicked out of the hockey game. You puked on yourself and then got soaking wet trying to clean it. OMG. One good thing came out of this, I'm past my first goal weight!! Isn't that so fucked up that the first thing I did after I found out that I puked was weigh myself..I should probably shower. And wash my clothes. I'm sooo embarrassed to face his brother oh wow. I'm such a mess. That's the only time I've gotten that wasted at uni and of course it has to be when he's here! I have to drive him later today so that's great. SUCH A MESS. It's slightly funny but super humiliating at the same time. My leg hurts. I think I'm still a tad drunk. AHHHHH. At least I was 9 pounds lighter when his brother saw me almost naked I guess. Fuck. 

My inspiring pics of the day go to the amazing Audrey Hepburn. So gorgeous and tiny and elegant :) I'm gonna go shower and eat some toast.

Friday, November 26, 2010

It feels like Christmas!

CW: 167

It's been snowing here and I'm totally starting to get excited for Christmas :) I woke up one morning and everything was covered in white, it was so pretty! I immediately started downloading Christmas music lol. But then you have to go outside in it and you almost freeze your ass off. I still love it though. I love being in my cozy little room and looking out at the snow falling.

So my scale is kind of unreliable. But I've been weighing myself in my dorm room, which is carpeted, and I know that doesn't work very well. I'm always nervous that I'm going to see someone if I carry it across the hall to the bathroom though lol. It would be kind of awkward to run into someone as I'm carrying my scale.. If I weight myself in one spot in my room it will say one thing, then if I move it I'll get a different number :/ It's really annoying but I know I'm losing, so that's good. Today I weigh either 167 or 166, but I went with 167 just to be safe. 

I'm going home in 14 days and I really want to be 163 or less by then (that will be a 10 lb loss!). That way hopefully people (my mom) will notice that I've lost weight and not force me to eat crap food. Usually she's pretty supportive of me losing weight but when I got down to my lowest, 101, she asked me if I was throwing up...But I think that she'll make relatively healthy stuff if she sees that I'm trying to lose. I've been good with food lately, my only junk food has been a cup of chocolate milk (170 cal) after dinner last night. It totally gets rid of my sweets cravings though, and it's relatively low cal compared to the cookie or chocolate bar I wanted to eat. I've also been doing some exercises in my room, my abs are super sore today. My boyfriend said once the weather gets better he's going to start going for runs. I'm going to try to go with him even though I'll be slow and I hate running. He's gained 10-20 lbs since we've been here but it barely shows because he's 6'1. And we usually play tennis when the weather is nice too, so that should burn some major calories. Hopefully my weight doesn't plateau before it gets warm enough to exercise.

Only a week left of classes!! I can't wait for it to be over. I hate like half of the classes I'm taking this semester and I really want to be done with them. I still have finals after that but I have quite a bit of time to study so I should be fine. I have to get ready for class but I'll try to post tomorrow if I have time. Oh and I decided I'm going to drink on Saturday night so wish me luck with trying not to pig out while I'm drunk!

Today's pics are of Victoria's Secret Model Adriana Lima. Hope you like them :)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Almost there...

Yay new followers! Hey guys :) Thanks everyone for the comments and support, it means so much to me!

Only a week and a half left of classes in this semester! I can't wait for it to be over, these last couple weeks are slowly killing me. It's crazy how much work they expect you to do in university. Tonight I have to narrow 9 sources down to 4 and complete an outline for my research essay :/ Not fun.

Nothing exciting is going on in my life right now. I didn't weight myself this morning, so I'll post tomorrow and let you know where I'm at. I've been doing well as far as intake, no junk food and usually around 800 or 900 calories per day. I've also been trying to take better care of myself in general. I've been taking better care of my skin, wearing cute outfits (despite the snow!) and I feel so much better about myself already. The fact that I know I'm making progress everyday makes me feel so good. Even when school is crazy and my life seems like a mess, I know I'm on the right track to getting thinner. It's such a comforting thought. And it helps so much to have a reason to lose weight. If I'm not in the 130's by May I will not want to go to Hawaii. And if I go I won't even enjoy myself because I'll be too worried about having to wear a bathing suit. I need to do this. 

I'm debating if I'm going to drink this weekend or not. If I can drink something relatively low cal and resist stuffing my face while I'm drunk I'll be good to go. My friend from home is coming to campus this weekend and he'll expect me to party with him. But alcohol makes me soo hungry I usually end up eating something disgusting. And I don't want to erase any of the progress I've made so far. I don't know what to do :(

Continuing with the Gossip Girl theme, today's pics are of Taylor Momsen. Hope you like them :)