Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Fuck Yeah.

CW: 164.8

I am so excited that I reached my first goal weight!! Now I really want to be my second goal weight or lower when school starts on September 7. That means I have 22 days to lose another 10 lbs, which I think I can do. I'm going to have to take a few days off from the gym while we're moving but hopefully I can just eat as little as possible and still lose. I'm going down to stay with my boyfriend on Thursday August 25, and we are moving on that Saturday. I can workout on Thursday morning before my flight but I won't be able to from Friday-Sunday. On Monday I'm planning on going to get a gym pass and hopefully buying a new scale. The one me and my boyfriend has only weighs to 0.5 of a pound which is not gonna work for me now that I've had a good scale. But $50 is a lot of money...we'll see what he says. I also really want/need to buy a food scale. I wish we weren't broke students.

I'm actually kind of excited to go back to school, hopefully 20 lbs lighter. I just want to see if people notice, you know? I wish I had been doing this the whole summer and was going back at 135 though. But I feel better about myself and I'm on the right track to reaching my goals at least. I'm so anxious to see the 150's. Sometimes I worry that I'm still eating too much, that I'm not doing enough..."maybe if I just skip my snack I'll lose even more"...but I also know it's not healthy to eat less that 1200 calories. It's just hard not to slip into old habits.

Restricting and working out everyday has been so exhausting. I'm gonna go hard until school starts because I can just spend the rest of the day in bed if I want to but I'm worried about when classes do start. I'm going to try to keep this up but I can't be completely exhausted all the time when I'm in school. I'm going to try coffee and sugar-free red bull to counter act this but if that doesn't work I might have to cut down on my workouts. I'm scared to do that though because I don't want to get out of the habit or start putting it off. My boyfriend says he really wants to go to the gym when school starts so hopefully he can get me to go if I lose motivation. I just know how stressful and how much work school is, and I really hope I can keep up this lifestyle even with the added stress. I really want this. So badly. I've been looking at old pictures of myself at 130 for motivation. I don't even look like the same girl now. I need to get back there as quickly as possible. I'm really done looking like this. Please stay strong.

Question of the Day: When losing weight what is/was your most exciting milestone? (ex. reaching a certain number on the scale, seeing ribs/hipbones, fitting into a certain item/size of clothing)

A: For me it is hard to choose just one but there are a few moments that stood out to me when I got down to my lowest weight before. The first one was when I went into American Eagle and was able to fit into size 2 jeans. I remember the girl helping me was like "Are you sure you're not a zero, you're tiny!". Sigh. I miss that. Another big moment for me was when I looked down and saw 101.5 on the scale. It was lower than I ever thought I would get and I was so excited. 

Since today I'm celebrating crossing off my first goal weight, today's thinspo features balloons. And don't we all want to be as light as air?


  1. Seeing my hipbones, seeing my ribs so much when I breathe in, seeing a gap begin to develop between my thighs, seeing my collarbones, fitting in a size 10 (UK) and seeing 133.5lbs on scales, lowest since age 13. Can't choose between them.

  2. My favorite: when you can fit into clothes you haven't been able to in a while that are just sitting in your closet... waiting for you to get your shit together. Fitting into old clothes is BETTER than new clothes. :)

    Either that or seeing a new all time low number. Nothing beats that.

  3. I love your blog!!!!! first of all congrats on reaching your first goal. youre doing great.

    and about the question of the day. I loooooove the look on people you havent seen in a while!

  4. People WILL notice your weight loss. I always wonder if my friends will, and they ALWAYS, without fail mention it to me. 20 pounds is a lot, and you should be proud regardless of their validation!

    And not to pry, but I'm curious when and how you transitioned from 101lbs to your current weight. Is there a post where you already discussed this that I missed? Sorry, I'm a nosy twat.

  5. Hi, I just found your blog today - I'm so impressed and you're doing so well! I actually put away the candy I was totally planning on eating while I reading so that I don't go over 1200 calories :)

    I know school can be hectic - I work and take online classes and it can be alot. I workout twice a day 1/2hour in the am and again in the evening. I don't go to the gym though, I use dvds at home and run in my neighborhood. It's also been shown that if you workout twice a day you keep your metabolism higher because you jump start it twice a day.