Monday, January 10, 2011

Juice Fast: Day 2

So it's the evening of day 2 of my fast and so far so good. It hasn't been super hard so far (knock on wood) and I've managed to get a bunch of stuff done over the past couple days. I cleaned my room and have everything just how I like it which is nice. I'm kind of a perfectionist. It applies to pretty much every part of my life, including having things clean and organized. I can't stand things being messy, it drives me nuts. Oh and I got some new makeup and nail polish :) I love anything girly, and it will keep me distracted from eating for a while. I have my nails sparkly pink right now, love them.

I've been having some problems with my boyfriend. I thought I'd ask you guys if I'm being completely irrational and overreacting or if i have a right to be upset. The first thing that happened was on Saturday night. We were hanging out, he was drinking, I wasn't really and the rest of our friends went to a house party. We decided to just chill and stay in, play some drinking games. So one of them had a truth or dare component and he chose truth, and I asked him what made him start liking me. He asked me out every year since grade 7 until I said yes in grade 10 and we've been dating ever since. And he had been drinking but at the time he said he wasn't drunk. He said that he didn't know why he started liking me, it was a long time ago, he just did. After nagging him for like 5 minutes for an answer he said because he figured he had a chance at getting me. He didn't say because I was smart or fun or pretty...because he thought he had a chance with me. So I was super hurt over it and we didn't talk for a coupe days, but I forgave him because I really can't imagine my life without him. 

Then the next thing that happened was I found something on his phone that shouldn't have been there. And I didn't sneak to look at his phone, just so you know, he was there and I was just playing around on his apps and stuff. I looked in his app store and he had searched for sex apps, and had one open that was like, porn. And he has lied about watching porn in the past which really hurt me, so this is a sensitive subject. He, of course, had some bullshit excuse. If he was honest about it, I might not even mind, but the fact that he lies about it means he has something to hide. I just don't know how much more I should take. I love him, I really do. But I can't just let him keep lying to me and hurting me, I look like an idiot. And he'll just keep doing it because I always go back to him. I don't know. 

On a happier note, I've been look at cute bathing suits online, potentially for Hawaii. They're Victoria's Secret and Betsey Johnson. Let me know if you have any favourites, I'd love your opinions!


  1. You're not irrational. He should have come up with the real answer when he was clearheaded and away from potentially judgmental friends. Hopefully you know there's more to it - he got you eventually but put up with years of rejection because there is something special about you. Have you explained it's the lying and not just the porn? Maybe he doesn't understand your objection. I'm sorry, I know what it's like to be with someone who doesn't respect the necessary compromise of a relationship. Don't give up too much, though. There's always someone else and a place in your life for an ex if you both can be mature about it.

    And I like the black bikini at the bottom.
    Feel better.

  2. ...Drop that boy. You deserve way better

  3. I'm sorry about the mess with the boy :/
    I'm catching up on your posts so don't mind my late comments please, my favorite swimsuit was Miranda Kerr's polka dot one (: