I know, disgusting. But don't worry girls, soon I'll have 4 months to eat and do whatever the fuck I want, and lose as much weight as I can because my boyfriend is leaving. He took a job in another city for next semester even though he got offered a job here. Staying here with me is worth less than $3 more an hour I guess. Before I was pissed, and sad thinking about coming home to an empty apartment every night. But you know what, I'm going to make the best of this. In 4 months I'm going to lose 40 pounds. I'm going to lose so much that everyone will be worried about me, he will be worried about me. I'm going to need your help and support more than ever, I can't do this alone. But I want this. I'm back in the mindset I was when I lost my first 20 lbs. I'm going to the gym tonight. And everyday until we go home for Christmas break. My goal is to be under 150 by December 14. Then to be 115 by the end of April. I'm fucking tired of squeezing into skinny jeans that give me a disgusting muffin top. I'm tired of feeling fat and disgusting in anything fitted. I want to be hot.
I told him I want to see other people during the 4 months he is away. Mostly I just think I can't stay faithful with him being gone that long and I'd rather not have guilt fucking up my weight loss. I also want to get a part time job so I can buy fabulous clothes to fit my fabulous new body. It's going to be a busy semester but busy is good. Busy means not sitting at home thinking about food. I want to see it. 115. The day when I look down at the scale and see that number will be a happy one. Let's do it bitches.