Dreaming of Size 2

CW: 170.0 

I can't wait to be able to wear cute clothes again and not be afraid of standing out, of looking fat. I want to wear dresses without my thighs rubbing together, to wear heels with my head held high. I want to know that when I catch someone looking at me, it's because I'm beautiful, not fat. I want to put on a cute dress, go to a club and dance my ass off knowing that I'm the hottest bitch there. I've been dreaming of all the clothes I want to buy when I can wear anything and look amazing in it. The thought of going into a store and picking up a pair of size 2 jeans knowing they're going to fit is what keeps me going. Feeling small and beautiful in my boyfriend's arms makes every workout worth is. Thinking about seeing my hipbones again makes the hunger go away. This is not who I am. I am not some chubby, average loser. I'm a smart, fashionable, glamorous, sexy college student with the world at my feet. I'm going to use everyday to show the world who I really am. I'm not going to waste another day being average because I can't think of anything worse.

I've been keeping up the routine: 1200 calories, 1 hour workouts. Consistency is key. And I have another 22 days at my mom's house before I move in with my boyfriend. Here it's easy, so I better make the most of this month. With him, there will be a lot more temptation to resist. But I told him that I don't want any junk food in the house and I hope that he respects that. I'm hoping that by Christmas I can be close to my goal of 115. That's basically 10 pounds a month, which I think is totally doable. I just have to stay on track, stick to my plan. I need to reach my goal because I cannot wait to go shopping. I love clothes and who doesn't love shopping when they're a size 2? The plan is to ask for money for Christmas and use that to buy a whole new size 2 wardrobe. I want it. Bad.

 Today we're going out to sea with a nautical inspired post! Enjoy it and stay strong. We're going to look like that one day soon. Skinny love <3

 

 

The long road ahead...

CW: 171.2 

So I've been doing well, sticking to my 1200 calorie diet and 1 hour workouts. But it feels a bit overwhelming....I still have so much weight to lose. So many workouts, so many months of restricting before I'll reach my goal. I just wish I hadn't let it get this bad. I wish I just had a normal relationship with food. But I'm just trying to take it one day at a time, one pound at a time. If I can just keep pushing myself through each and every day, I'll get there. 

Everyday I have to get closer to being the person I want to be. Thin, beautiful, happy, successful, carefree. But I know that doesn't come easy. So let us remember why we struggle and sweat and go to bed hungry. 

1. For thighs that don't touch
2. To look hot in anything
3. To prove them all wrong
4. For "Have you lost weight?"
5. To be the life of any party
6. To be confident and carefree
7. To look good naked
8. To be the girl I know I can be
9. For collarbones and a flat stomach
10. To finally feel good about my body, myself, and my life

I hope you all are having a happier day than me. Sometimes it just feels like there's no end in sight, no way I can possibly achieve my goals. So here's some much needed thinspo. Today's pics are all about bows, I hope they keep you strong <3

 

 

 

 

An uneventful day.

CW: 173.2 lbs

First off I just want to thank you girls for your comments, they always brighten my day and encourage me to keep going. Yesterday and today were pretty uneventful. Went to the gym for an hour both days and stayed around 1200 calories, which seems to be working. I've lost 2.4 lbs in 2 days but the beginning is always tough. I'm having so many cravings since I'm not used to eating like this. Ice cream sundaes are calling my name...but then I just think about spending another year in size 12 jeans and I know it's not worth it. Just thinking about buying something in a size 2 again makes me so excited. I can do this, I've done it before. It's just food.

I'm not stopping until i reach 115, and when I do I'm buying a whole new wardrobe. I don't care if I can't afford it, when I accomplish this 60 lb goal I'm gonna deserve it. I just hope I can keep this up when I'm living with my boyfriend. I'm just going to tell him that I don't want any junk food in the house. Not all of us can eat whatever we want and not gain a pound. Asshole. 

I hope you all are having good days too, and I'll leave you with some pics to keep you inspired. Today is all about floral! Hope you like them :)

 

 

 

Let's get skinny bitches.

CW: 175.6...Jesus fucking christ.

So I have a month until school starts and I need to get back on track. Today was a good day and I'm planning on keeping it up until I'm down 60 lbs and walking around campus in size zero jeans. So here's the skinny on how things went today.

I had an excellent day of eating considering how I've been stuffing myself all summer. Cereal for breakfast; a piece of toast and yoghurt for lunch; an apple in the afternoon; and miso soup, edamame, and 5 pieces of dynamite roll for dinner. I also worked my butt off on the elliptical and burned 575 calories in an hour. If I get into the 150's before school starts I'm having a fucking party (food-free of course). I'm moving in with my boyfriend in September and I really just want it to be amazing. I just don't want to be self-conscious of my body when he wants to cuddle at night, or tell him no when he wants to shower together in the morning. He's seen my body of course, but I just want to be happy and carefree and loving my cute little body as soon as possible so that we can have the best time ever. 


Oh, and I also made a great discovery today. If you have an iPhone you have to down load the Calorie Count app. You can record your calorie intake, water intake, exercise, daily weight and it's absolutely fantastic. I'm going to be tracking my calories there so I won't bored you girls with the details. I was just wondering if any one can recommend any good thinspo or inspiring bloggers? I need all the motivation and support I can get! Here's what turned up  today as I was scouring the internet for thinspo. Today's theme is Black and White.  Enjoy :)

Hey Girls...

 CW: 172.6

So I'm thinking about trying this again. It didn't work for me before but maybe it will work this time? I would just get discouraged when I didn't get as much support and feedback as I was hoping for. But maybe this is what I need to get back on track. I have a gym membership. I have only healthy food around. What I need is MOTIVATION...I've done this before why can't I do it now?? And I kept it off for YEARS. Well all I can do is try again and I hope that I still have a few people that will support me along the way.

I'm sure I've missed so much in your lives. For that I'm sorry. Me? You haven't missed much. Finished my first year of university and did pretty well. Still with my boyfriend of 3 years, we're moving in together in September. Still the same size. I'm officially going to stop using the word FAT...well any negative words in general. I need to be positive and not so hard on myself. Losing weight is hard. It might take a lot longer than I want it to. But as long as I'm making positive choices in my life and going in the right direction towards a better life, I'm going to try and be proud of myself. Look in the mirror and LOVE myself. Well, I'm going to try. The funny thing is that even when I was tiny and everyone was telling me how great I looked, I never felt thin. I never felt good about myself. I want to change that. Every pound I lose, I'm going to try and give myself the credit I deserve for losing it. One pound at a time.

To blog or not to blog...

No one cares if I do or don't so what's the point?